“My ex girlfriend had this really weird fetish. “I don’t want to be part of a club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marxġ9. “When you look like I do, it’s hard to get a table for one at chuckee cheese.” – Zach Galifianakisġ8. The problem is no one runs in your family.” – Unknownġ7. “The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. Make them smile with your witty jokes and puns! Here are some of the best one liner jokes that are guaranteed to make your friends laugh every time:ġ6.

Show everyone you have a great sense of humor. “When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.” – Unknown Fun, Funny One Liners And Puns Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” – Unknownġ5.

“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. “I have the world’s largest collection of seashells, you may have seen it, I keep it scattered on beaches all over.” – Unknownġ4. “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” – Demetri Martinġ3. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francisġ2. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. “It became so cold in New York last night that it forced the flashers to describe themselves to people.” – Unknownġ0. “I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.” – Steven Wrightġ1. “I have 3 kids and no money, why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money.” -Homer Simpsonĩ. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.” – UnknownĨ. “I don’t have a girlfriend, but I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that.” – Unknownħ. “My drug test came back negative. “It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.” – Jack HandeyĦ. “When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was.” – Mitch Hedbergĥ. If two people back out, you’re still having sex.” – Gregory HouseĤ. If someone backs out, then you’ve still got a threesome. Laughter is the best medicine, so don’t deprive yourself of it! Here are some funny one liners to make you laugh:ġ. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.” – Demetri MartinĢ. “What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles” – Unknownģ. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners. Others are from random or unknown people. Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians. Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line.

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